Today was Daniel and I’s second monthaversary so we celebrated by going to the place where we had our first date–MJ Cafe in Rowland Heights. I love love love going to cafes for deserts because everything is instagram worthy. It was terribly hot outside today so what better thing to do than eat desserts and drink iced tea all afternoon? He said he felt bad when I paid the check but I told him why worry? He drives me around a lot and he doesn’t let me pay him for gas. I said it’s ok if you like to buy me things, but don’t put yourself under financial stress to do so. He replied, “You’re the first girl to ever say that to me.”
“What else would someone say?”
“‘Why can’t you buy this for me? Why don’t you have money?’ I’m in a lot of debt because of that.”
It makes me sad to hear that. Love isn’t about money or buying each other things. Don’t get me wrong, I love buying people things because I love them and they deserve all sorts of beautiful gifts, and financial security can help your situation, but lavish gifts should never be a requirement. I personally don’t understand how people ask people to buy them things? Like where is your shame? If I ever say “hey you should buy this for me!” I usually mean it as a joke. I feel bad when I use other peoples money and nothing makes me happier than being able to support myself and pay for my school and gas and leisure. It feels good to work for things and pay for them yourself. I don’t know, my rule has always been don’t accept things you couldn’t pay for yourself. If it’s a small gift or someone wants to treat me to dinner, that’s fine, but I couldn’t accept jewelry or something. I joke with my sister, “If my fiance proposes with a Tiffany ring I’d start crying and say ‘what kind of girl do you think I am?'” But to each their own. It’s fine to love fancy things if you can afford it. It doesn’t make any sense to put yourself in debt for it.
Side note: When we went to Big Bear on Valentine’s Day he showed me a picture of his ex and I wanted to cry. She’s so pretty and has great skin and a boob job and I’m so weird looking and awkward and not cute at all. It’s important to remember that upgrading in a relationship doesn’t have to mean they look better. There is so much more to attraction than looks and to be honest I do feel like I am a better person, because I don’t hit my partner or abuse him in anyway or break his things or burn his clothes in a jealous rage. All I can do is try to be a good person and remind myself that looks aren’t everything. When I feel insecure I have to remember that he’s with me because he loves me, and I have to trust him.