On Fear and Blogging

Hello friends. I’m writing this on my flight home from Hawaii where I’ve been for the last week. I must admit I’ve been so stressed out about blogging that I’ve been actively avoiding it all together. I log into WordPress for 30 minutes, get intimidated by the blank post and flashing cursor, and close the window.

I realized I’m afraid of hitting the “publish” button. I’m afraid that people I know will read my blog and think that I’m dumb. I worry they will think that I’m pretending to be something I’m not. I have so many ideas I would like to share with the world, but I am afraid none of them are any good. I keep getting about halfway through drafting a post when I think, “Why would anyone read this?”

I get really excited about ideas so I bounce them off of friends or Daniel and they’re not receptive to it at all. It makes me sad and self-conscious and makes me think that it’s not worth pursuing.

My vision for this blog is coming together very slowly in my head and it’s time to start making it a reality. It’s a bummer that I invested so much time and money into getting self-hosted only to get paralyzed by fear and disappear for two weeks. I think that investment is reason enough to push through. Even if I have zero readers, blogging has really helped my writing. It’s interesting how writing about fun things on here has impacted my academic writing. Sharing information on here forces me to research thoroughly to support my ideas, and it helps me better articulate my point.

I think I’m going to use this month to get disciplined about writing on here. I am not currently working so this month is just for relaxing and preparing for London.

This month I hope to share posts about zero waste and more mindful living. My most popular post is no longer beauty related! My post on meditation somehow caught on via Pinterest. I hope to flesh out my blog with more posts like this for my new readers who are interested in these topics. Besides, I’ve been wanting to slowly shift my blog towards more conscious-living lifestyle posts.

I’m sorry for writing these types of posts every few months. Putting it out there really helps me reorient myself.

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  • To be honest no one I know (friends or loved ones) have even the slightest interest in what I write, and that gives me the freedom to write whatever I want.

    I too feel my blog is going a different direction than what I had initially intended (I am currently making changes right this minute) and I worried that I would lose what few subscribers I’ve been so excited about gaining.

    But as I evolve as a person so will my content, and If people liked what the un-evolved me had to say, then there will be followers for my new, evolved content. I know you share this sentiment as you are fleshing out your own blog.

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    • Yes! It was for some reason easier when I had fewer/no followers. I get stressed out looking at the number of people subscribed because I worry about not being good enough. I read once that you shouldn’t worry about having few followers because you’ll look back and be glad that only 10 people read your old content. That’s a reassuring thought to have. Its still really scary to take the risk and link to a personal blog on social media knowing friends and family will look. I just hope to remain as authentic as possible and hope for a good result!